Eric John’s 5 Rules for Effectively Staying Up All Night Working

Eric John - Porn Star

Eric John - Porn Star

Eric John‘s Rules for Effectively Staying Up All Night Working –

(developed at MIT & refined further through years of experience)

(1) It is always the day you STARTED staying up until you sleep.

(2) Avoid all acknowledgment of next day – such as “good morning” etc.  Fuck that.  It is still yesterday.

(3) Drink coffee until you know you can finish – then drink wine.  Continue drinking even in morning.

(4) You can always push yourself far further than you think.  Don’t be a pussy.  Finish.

(5) When you finish, stay up a while more just for the fuck of it.  Keep drinking & listening to music.

Do this because you can.  And because you are not a pussy.  😉

Lastly (if possible) masturbate to @GiaJordan the hottest ex-pornster-current-hot-photographer ever.  That will help you wind down.

Good morning, you sleeping fuckers.  HA!

Not Seinfeld XXX

Not Seinfeld XXX

Parodies: They’re not just for porn anymore…

I’m in the process of writing and creating the best spoof music video of all time. Well, maybe not all time, but it’s gonna be close! And I was doing some research for other music videos, you know, to get a basic idea of the competition out there, and found that they all lack. Ours will pick up the pieces where these left off. We’ll have ladies and rappers and pimp cups galore! Until then, sit back, and watch famous “musicians” copy other “musicians.” I mean, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?

Travis covers “Baby One More Time” – by far the best version of this song, ever.

The All-American Rejects Cover “Womanizer” – I just liked this cause that guy is HOT!

Chris Daughtry (w00t NC!) covers “Poker Face”

Magic Fingers Bed Inventor, dead at 92

I got lost in the whirlwind of celebrity deaths last week, that I totally overlooked John Joseph Houghtaling, the inventor of the Magic Fingers Massaging Bed, died on 6/20/09 due to complications of a recent fall, according to the NYT Obit.

I never got to use a Vibrating Bed, but for 25 cents, it definitely beats the flying spaceship at the local WalMart.

John Joseph Houghtaling

John Joseph Houghtaling

Image courtesy of

Trying to make your own Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed? Remember, it’s more about the power of the vibrator, then the bed!

10 Biggest, Thickest, Longest Dongs

First off, a dong is very similar to a dildo, so it can be very hard to tell the difference between a dildo and a dong. Don’t worry though, most people use the words interchangeably. Dildos can be pretty and colorful, generally dongs are out there to remind you of what you aren’t getting in real life.

And for the purposes of this list, double dongs don’t count!

10. So Real Cock – 8″ long, 2″ wide

9. Pleasure Skin Realistic – 8″ long, 2″ wide

8. Cyberskin Dream Cock – 8″ long, 2″ wide

7. Marco Banderas’ Uncut Cock – 8″ long, 2″ wide

6. Lifelikes Dildo – 9″ long, 1.5″ wide

5. Red Big Boy w/Balls – 9″ long, 2″ wide

4. Mr. Marcus’s Realistic – 9″ long, 2″ wide

3. Tommy Gunn’s Cyberskin Cock – 9″ long, 2″ wide

2. Blackballed Dildo – 11″ long and 3″ wide

1. John Holmes’ Cock – 12″ long, 2.5″ wide!

Squirting Masturbator at Adam & Eve

Flower Tuccis Squirting Pussy

Flower Tucci's Squirting Pussy

Adam & Eve has just started carrying Flower Tucci’s Realistic Squirting Pussy. This sex toy looks amazing. I’ve never heard of a squirting masturbator, and I didn’t know Flower Tucci was a squirter! I saw her in Kayden’s Krossfire, but I just don’t remember her squirting in that. Hm, maybe I need to rewatch it.

Flower Tucci - Porn Star

Flower Tucci - Porn Star

Check out the Adam & Eve website for the full details on the product. I can’t get over how realistically awesome this masturbator looks. Make sure to click on the images to see them close up.

Flower Tuccis Squirting Pussy

Flower Tucci's Squirting Pussy

Flower Tucci Masturbator Squirt Juice

Flower Tucci Squirt Juice

Bree Olson responds to Bubba the Love Sponge

What REALLY Happened on Bubba the Love Sponge Show

We had a chance to get in touch with super-awesome, mega-cute porn star Bree Olson and ask her what really happened at the Bubba the Love Sponge taping. This is what she said:

Bree Olson Fires Back

Bree Olson Fires Back

There are many reports and speculations floating around on what happened on March 23rd of 2009 but only I, Bree Olson know the full story. Not one person was with me every moment of what happened on this day, so here I am giving you a full unbiased scoop of everything you want to know.

About two weeks prior to being on the show I was told I was going to be giving a blind, long time listener of Bubba the Love Sponge Show a hand job. They had inquired about a blowjob as well however that was quickly vetoed. They had even informed my publicist that I could wear a glove if I wanted to. From the first time I was told I was going on the show until the day of when I arrived, this is the impression I was under.

Like the tons of other radio shows I’ve been on this one started out no differently. I wait in the green room, sign my model release, they take an array of pictures of me and then I am sent into the room where they are broadcasting. I begin to chat with the guys on the radio show and there are camera men too of course filming all of us as we have our radio talk show. We speak about my career in the adult film industry and Bubba and I talk about Indiana seeing that we both are from there. After about twenty minutes of the interview they decide to bring in the “blind listener” to introduce us to each other. The moment he walks in I look around the room to see everyone’s reactions. I was expecting them to be laughing and for them to say, “Ha-Ha, we got you Bree! He’s not really blind!” But nobody was.

Bree Olson

Bree Olson

This was when I realized that they actually expected me to believe that this man named Pantera (which sounds like a radio personals name to me, not some average Joe off the streets) was blind. As I’m looking at this man he is wearing Ray Ban sunglasses. Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t expect a blind person to be rocking a pair of Ray Bans. He also had a “walking stick” which wasn’t a blind person’s walking stick at all. I’m not exactly sure what it was, whether it was a piece of camera equipment or what not but I assure you it was not a walking stick. After noticing all of these things I tell the guys right on the air that this man is not blind. I kept being a good sport about it and I was smiling and laughing as they try to prove to me that he is blind by throwing soccer balls at his head.

Shortly after that they went to a commercial break and I was lead back into the green room with the person I now know as Pantera. In the green room I keep asking him more questions like, “What are you watching on TV?” thinking I could trick him. I also asked him what exactly did the doctor say that caused his blindness one year ago. He replied, “I was in a motorcycle accident.” I told him I already know that but what was the exact medical term that caused his blindness. He couldn’t come up with anything and said he was not good at medical terminology. I know that no matter if someone is good at medical terms or not they will remember some when they have went through such a traumatic life altering experience. At this point I start to become upset. They have me take pictures with this man and as I’m taking pictures I can barely hold back the tears in my eyes.

Bree Olson

Bree Olson

I decide to go outside away from everyone because I do not want them to see me crying. I was so torn and confused about what was going on and I had an office full of people that didn’t have my back. I thought that if I went through with this hand job that they would surely throw out the “tricked the dumb porn girl card.” The only thing that made sense to me then, and still makes sense to me now of why they would do that to me, is this: They “trick” me into thinking this man is blind, I give him a hand job and then they make fun of me the last half of the show of what a dumb whore I am. I had been giving all of this detailed information two weeks prior and leading up to this point so there could be no other explanation.

As I am outside crying people come out and try to talk to me. I just kept my head down as the tears stream down my face. Never in the three years that I have been in the adult industry had I ever had a bad experience. This was my first. I felt helpless and nobody was there to help me. I didn’t say a word to anyone. I just kept quiet. I was just trying to figure out what to do and I was weighing my options. This is when the camera guys come up getting close up shots of me crying. At this point I still haven’t said a word and start walking off their property. I figure that once I am off their property they will leave me alone. At this point I am still weighing my options on what to do. I just wanted to have a moment by myself and get the tears out of my system. I wasn’t allowed that alone time though. The cameras kept on following me and watching every painful tear I shed. My sadness quickly turned to anger. In my head I am thinking, “What kind of sick fucks want to watch a 22 year old girl cry?” I wasn’t bothering anyone. I wasn’t even talking, I just had tears rolling down my face.

You know the part in Godfather 1 where they are at the wedding and they take the guys camera, smash it on the ground and throw him some money? That’s exactly what I wanted to do. But I didn’t. I grabbed the camera and held on to it insisting to have the tape that has ten minutes of footage of me crying on it. I didn’t touch the camera man, I just took hold of the camera and said to give me the tape.

C’mon guys…. I’ve been in the business three years. You would have all known long ago if I was some monster woman. Everyone has feelings and everyone has a point where someone has pushed them too far. As I said before in three years I never had anyone treat me the way these people did, and that’s exactly why you seen the reaction they got from me. They don’t show you the great interview. They don’t show you me crying for ten minutes. All they show you is when I had enough and finally gave them the reaction they were hoping for all along

Am I proud of what I did? No. I am embarrassed and ashamed of myself. What would I have done differently? Instead of going outside, crying and thinking about coming back in, I should have ran. Ran, before they even had a chance to see which way I went and then I would have called a taxi. Honestly, there was no other way I could have avoided them other to take an extreme measure as that.

For all my fans and for everyone that supports me, thank you very much. I love you guys.
Xoxo Bree Olson

Bree Olson

Bree Olson

Stephen Colbert is Sexy

There is a small, tiny piece of me that thinks Stephen Colbert is sexy. It’s something about the fact that he plays this uptight character all the time when he is in public that it makes me believe he has to be something of a freak in the bedroom. I’m sure everyone has their secret, off-the-wall celebrity crushes. I mean there’s got to be a reason the world thinks Ashton Kutcher is beautiful. He totally reminds me of this kid who used to eat dirt on the playground in elementary school.

Well, while I was doing my “celebrity sex” search I ran across this mixup video of Stephen Colbert on YouTube. Enjoy.