22 Names for Your Penis

I’ve never been good at naming things, even though I like to give things their own personality. For instance, my cars are always called “Baby” and my breasts are called “The Girls.” But I know a lot of my friends actually name their body parts, their plants, their cars…you know, with real names. The one thing I’ve never even been able to name, or refer to other than using the words cock, penis or dick, is well, a cock, penis or dick. So I asked my Twitter followers to give me their favorite names for their cock (penis or dick) 🙂

Your penis isn’t represented? Make sure to leave your favorite name in the comments!

Here are 22 Names for a Penis

  1. Mr. Winky
  2. Mr. Happy
  3. Irish Love Hammer
  4. Mr. Happyface
  5. The Little Root
  6. Ex-Calibur
  7. Tommy Da Salami
  8. Crackers
  9. Gertrude
  10. Beaver
  11. Mufasa
  12. Big Jake
  13. Junior
  14. Karl
  15. Casper
  16. Squeaky
  17. Bob
  18. D Train
  19. Zeus
  20. Chang Noi (it means Elephant)
  21. Turtle
  22. Dick Cheney
License to Blow DVD

License to Blow DVD

Women Watching Porn: The 8th Day Pt 2

The 8th Day: A Review by Lilith & Allison pt 2

My general thoughts on The 8th Day –

The 8th Day was fantastic.  The story was entertaining, which is rare for adult movies.  If you cut out the sex, it would still be worth watching.  Amber Rayne is a pretty damn good actress.  The sets and costumes are believable.  The occasional CG elements aren’t very noticeable or distracting.  All in all, the movie is very well done.  But you don’t really care about the production value do you?  You want to know about the sex, right?  Well, there’s sex, lots of it, and it’s pretty damn good as well.  The sex scenes flow in and out of the storyline well.  Even is all their post-apocalyptic grime, the stars look great.  Kayden has an amazing body and is scantily clad for the majority of the movie.  Tyler Knight looks super hot in his dreads.  My only regret after watching the movie is that the Prince had a non-sex role.  I’d love to see that man naked.

You need to see this movie.  It’s really long, so block off an evening, grab some snacks and beer and watch the world end.

And now, a continuation of our commentary.  If you haven’t read pt.1 you should do so before you continue.

A: We didn’t see the backbend!

L: No that must have been a photo thing.

A: I want to hang out with Evan Stone.

L: In my porn version of Adam & Eve, the snake is a man and has sex with Eve.

L: The snake in this has a phat ass.

A: Did you see this girl’s tramp stamp? It’s that eye that’s on the dollar bill.

L: The all seeing eye? That’s my favorite.

A: Then you’ll love this.

A: What? Who? Girls in a mud wrestling pit without the mud?

L: Oh, they’re amusing the Prince. It’s the desert they don’t have the water to spare for the mud.

A: Oh, I think she wants to be purged.

L: Are they purging?

A: Yep they’re purging.

A: I feel sad that the Prince doesn’t actually get to have the sex.

L: He’s got some sweet ass sunglasses though.

A: Oh, that’s like the triple swallow deep throat.

A: I think if I were watching The 8th Day for the sex I’d be down for it.

A: How long do you think his dick is vs how long her mouth is?

L: It’s got to be curving and down her throat by now.

A: And it makes me mad that this is what guys think we can do.

L: Whoa, she’s really skinny.

A: Yeah she is.

L: That’s a lot of ribs.

L: That’s a good quote: “either hole works for me” LOL!

A: I appreciate that the douchebag is trying to get his own in the movie.

L: I don’t appreciate it in real life.

A: Oh, neither do I.

A: I enjoy that this movie has been multiple guys with girls rather than multiple girls.

L: I really don’t like all the spitting in porn.

A: There’s some DP going on!

L: Woohoo!

A: She keeps antagonizing the guys that she needs more than this.

L: How do you need more than DP?

A: I keep forgetting we’re watching an actual movie here.

A: I really like Kayden’s body.

L: Yeah, she’s like a Barbie without the 8ft legs, which is just strange.

L: Are they going to have sex with each other?

A: Yes.

A: I like how she’s wearing the prom dress with boots.

A: The last AEP feature movie I’ve seen was Dinner Party 3, and this is a true jump from the Dinner Party theme.

A: Curse the Linux? What? How did he save them from the Linux.

A: That’s some clever writing.

L: She’s not the favorite anymore, she’s sad.

A: She still gets to wear the combat boots with the prom dress.

A: That’s some long hair.

L: Yeah.

A: Ew, don’t eat the wax.

L: Whoa, this is an acrobatic orgy.

A: 1 2 3 4 5 6 – I count 6.

A: Is he fucking her ass?

L: Yeah.

L: People having sex is funny.

A: Yeah it is.

L: Oh, there’s a new girl.

A: No that’s Amber Rayne.

L: Aw, poor Kayden Kross, you’re dad effed up the world.

A: That’s shitty.

A: OMG Evan Stone’s balls are really saggy.

L: Yeah, they are.

A: Do you have any final thoughts about this movie?

L: I think the world’s gonna blow up.

The 8th Day XXX DVD

The 8th Day XXX DVD

Women Watching Porn: The 8th Day Pt 1

The 8th Day – A Review by Lilith and Allison pt 1

It’s always awkward to watch porn with a friend, especially your heterosexual coworker, but whatever, college frat boys can do it, so Lilith & I can do it too. 🙂 I’d noticed that there was a big lack of explanation about this movie, so I thought it’d be best to get someone to watch the thing and explain to you guys why, in fact, this is the most awesome Adam & Eve Pictures DVD this year. (Also, it’s gonna be available on Blu Ray in September, so watch out for that)

Anyway, this movie turned out to be a lot better than I had expectations for. There’s all kinds of kinky sex, hot sex, interracial sex, boring sex, group sex, and non-sex. There’s a really decent story line, believable and kept me intrigued. Over and over again, Lilith & I talked about the high quality of the feature and it’s actors. I almost want to say this was a spoof of the Sci-Fi genre entirely, but I don’t watch a lot of Sci-Fi stuff, except shows like Fringe and Eureka, so I might not be the best person to tell you that this is a good spoof. I’ll let Lilith explain that.

Now, I bring you, the conversation that Lilith and I had during the watching of The 8th Day:

L: What a fancy root menu.

A: I like how in movies people frozen in a cryogenic state come out looking beautiful. Shouldn’t her pubic hair be really long?

A: Perfect brain & muscle functioning too.

L: Kayden Kross has very nice fake boobs.

A: Nice, what’s the first thing you’d do after being in suspended animation for years…let’s do it!

A: Three men locked in a room to watch over her. I bet they were having gay orgies all these years.

L: In the future men wear plastic loincloths, that’s fantastic.

A: Kayden does have a really nice body.

L: Tommy Gunn stop playing with your meat so we can see it.

A: I think he’s uncut. Isn’t it?

A: Was that a real orgasm?

L: You think if she was faking it she’d make a more pleasant face.

A: I really like Tommy Gunn. He knows what he’s doing.

A: How do you think this would be if they all used condoms?

L: I’d be okay with it. I figure once everyone started using condoms we’d all get used to it.

L: I’m glad Kayden’s not overly fake. I hate it when the girls make “o” noises when they’re sucking some dude’s dick. You know they aren’t enjoying it that much.

A & L: Ew…what was that? Why is he vomiting from the mouth?

L: I think that would have been best left for after the sex scene.

A: I really want him to come.

L: Wrap it up B.

A: I think there should be some gay sex in this too. That’d be awesome.

L: Like Brave New World – everyone’s having sex with everyone.

L: I think I get what’s happening. She’s really having sex with some gross thing but we’re seeing her euphoric interpretation of that.

A: Ah, you’re good at this Sci-Fi thing.

A: Are they all dead?

L: Or they fought themselves into submission.

A: Why didn’t they give her pants to wear in the future?

A: Oh, no, we’re watching her pee. Was that necessary?

L: I don’t know why that was essential to the storyline.

A: I don’t know why she had to wipe with her hand. Drip dry!

L: Ooh, look at the CG grass and the skeleton.

A: Well, I figured the skeleton wasn’t real, but the grass looks pretty good.

A: This looks like a Myst scene.

L: I think those S&M people are gonna have sex and Kayden’s gonna watch.

A: She’s a Mistress? What Mistress goes down on her slave boy first?

L: No, slave boy does the work first. If he does it well, he gets rewarded.

A: I think the movie is better generally without the sex. Then again, I’m not really paying attention, are you?

L: No.

L:  The kinky people have been doing this forever, and where’s the Asian slave girl?

A: She’s like that third guy in the icky alien scene from earlier.

A: I think the dick bounce is the most amazing thing guys can do. Gives me penis envy.

A: I’m getting a little nervous with all of the noises. Run away, Kayden, run away!

L: That’s an efficient way to tell time.

A: Tyler Knight looks good with a mohawk

L: I like dreads on guys.

A: Oh look, it’s the “o” noises.

L: Most porn star sex is like “you’re paying me money so I’m gonna stick my penis in here” but occasionally you see it when the actors really are into what they’re doing. That’s always hot.

A: Pick an end Tyler, pick an end.

L: I think we’re about to see the lesbian three way in the desert.

A: I count two.

L: No it’s with Bree Olson and the Cat Chicks.

A: Oh, the backbend scene from the cover of the DVD?

L: Yeah.

A: What’s with the cat noises?

L: Why are they wearing shoes?

A: I told you people are naked in the future except for shoes.

A: Oh OH – Look! Two mouths, one pussy.

L: Lesbian porn bores the shit out of me. Most of it is two girls, one gets off and switch. And some of them don’t even fake it well.

A: Bree’ll get off. She always gets off.

A: I don’t even know who these girls are.

L: That’s Tori Black, but I don’t know the upside down girl is.

A: Are we supposed to believe the body paint is body paint or if it’s embedded into their skin?

L: I don’t know. But Kayden’s liking it.

L: This is what they’d say if they were speaking English….”My vagina!”

A: Or – “Get off that, I wanna suck the pussy!”

L: Here’s the wood dildo. I wish we carried these on the site.

A: I think they were going to, but they were worried our customers would fear the splinters.

L: I can’t believe it’s been 2 hours already.

A: Really?

A: Aww, we gotta change discs?


The 8th Day XXX DVD

The 8th Day XXX DVD

Don’t worry! Lilith will be posting part 2 of our review shortly.

Porn Star Lisa Ann Visits Adam & Eve

Yesterday Lisa Ann – most well known for her political satire Who’s Nailin Paylin? – came to Adam & Eve HQ in Hillsborough and we got some exclusive video of her walking through the warehouse. She talked about her most recent, and first!, DP scene and told us a crazy story about “That’s What She Said.”  We even got her to play in a bin of sex toys!

If you’ve already purchased Who’s Nailin Paylin? and you want to see some more of that MILFy, breastakular action check her out in Zero Tolerance’s Interactive Sex with Lisa Ann.

Interactive Sex with Lisa Ann

Interactive Sex with Lisa Ann

What What (In the Butt)

Sorry, this came so late, butt here you go…something to make your Monday that much better!

Samwell – What What (In the Butt)

Dear Abby, My Sister Does Porn.

I saw this in the Sun-Times Online newspaper the other day. I just had to share it with you all.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago my younger sister “Cilla” generously set up college funds for my three children. Each account has more than $25,000. My husband and I were stunned, but Cilla insisted she is making good money in the film industry and wanted to do this for my family.

Three months ago, she came to visit, and through a bizarre turn of events, I discovered that she makes her living starring in adult films. Now that I know how Cilla earns her living, I am no longer comfortable accepting her gifts — especially the college funds. This has caused problems between my husband and me. He thinks we should keep the money because we may not be able to afford three college tuitions on our own. Abby, I don’t want my sister’s sexual exploits paying for our kids’ education.

Should we return the money? And if we do, is it possible to do it without causing a rift between my sister and me?

G-Rated Sister in San Diego

DEAR SISTER: I doubt it. If you refuse her generosity, it will appear that you are rejecting her. Nor do I think your children should be penalized because you don’t approve of Cilla’s lifestyle.

Your husband is being pragmatic; you are being emotional. That money has already been earned. You’re not going to change your sister. You may not approve, but love her for the generous and caring aunt she is trying to be and let the money be used for something positive.

Brees College Daze 2

Bree's College Daze 2

Eric John’s 5 Rules for Effectively Staying Up All Night Working

Eric John - Porn Star

Eric John - Porn Star

Eric John‘s Rules for Effectively Staying Up All Night Working –

(developed at MIT & refined further through years of experience)

(1) It is always the day you STARTED staying up until you sleep.

(2) Avoid all acknowledgment of next day – such as “good morning” etc.  Fuck that.  It is still yesterday.

(3) Drink coffee until you know you can finish – then drink wine.  Continue drinking even in morning.

(4) You can always push yourself far further than you think.  Don’t be a pussy.  Finish.

(5) When you finish, stay up a while more just for the fuck of it.  Keep drinking & listening to music.

Do this because you can.  And because you are not a pussy.  😉

Lastly (if possible) masturbate to @GiaJordan the hottest ex-pornster-current-hot-photographer ever.  That will help you wind down.

Good morning, you sleeping fuckers.  HA!

Not Seinfeld XXX

Not Seinfeld XXX