Eric John’s 5 Rules for Effectively Staying Up All Night Working

Eric John - Porn Star

Eric John - Porn Star

Eric John‘s Rules for Effectively Staying Up All Night Working –

(developed at MIT & refined further through years of experience)

(1) It is always the day you STARTED staying up until you sleep.

(2) Avoid all acknowledgment of next day – such as “good morning” etc.  Fuck that.  It is still yesterday.

(3) Drink coffee until you know you can finish – then drink wine.  Continue drinking even in morning.

(4) You can always push yourself far further than you think.  Don’t be a pussy.  Finish.

(5) When you finish, stay up a while more just for the fuck of it.  Keep drinking & listening to music.

Do this because you can.  And because you are not a pussy.  😉

Lastly (if possible) masturbate to @GiaJordan the hottest ex-pornster-current-hot-photographer ever.  That will help you wind down.

Good morning, you sleeping fuckers.  HA!

Not Seinfeld XXX

Not Seinfeld XXX

How to Have Sex in a (Public) Bathroom

Over the weekend I heard a great story from a friend about people having sex in the bar’s bathroom. It goes like this:

She was at the bar, it was early-ish, definitely not 11pm yet. My friend heads to the bathroom and there’s a couple outside of it and tell her she probably doesn’t want to go in there. “The toilet is fine, but the bathroom is pretty much not usable.” So my friend opens the door and there’s the bathroom sink in a million pieces on the floor.The couple was charged for a replacement sink and they’ve never been seen in the bar again (according to the bar staff).

Obviously this horny couple didn’t know the basics of How to Have Sex in a Public Bathroom. Or any bathroom really, because that story was followed up with a different friend catching his friends trying to fuck in his bathroom and they dislocated his bathroom sink too.

So here are some key tips on how to have bathroom sex:

1. The sink is the weakest structure in the bathroom – unless it’s got a cabinet with it. But even then the actual sink is a very weak prop. (I heard this from the HGTV channel, so you know it’s true.)

2. If the bathroom has handicap rails by the toilet, use those. They are meant to carry the weight of someone. Feet and hands can be used to prop you up on those.

3. If there are no handicap rails, try to prop yourself in the stall – feet on one wall, back against the other, your partner holding you up too. I mean, you shouldn’t have to do all the work. If you can’t keep yourself up, put a foot on the toilet. It may be nasty, but let’s face it, you’re trying to have sex in a place where people pee and poo, and occasionally throw up.

So phallused partner should pick up and hold the orificed partner up against a wall or cubicle stall. The orificed partner should attempt to keep themselves propped up by said tips above, and position the orifice for penetration. Phallused partner should assist the orificed partner with the repetitive penetration until orgasm is reached or someone comes into the bathroom to interrupt you. (I’m no Lilith, but I think that was a fairly good description.)

Enjoy! And remember safe sex is the best sex, especially when you’re drunk at a bar.

*Please check your local laws before having sex in public. I believe it might be illegal in some places.

How to Give a Great Blow Job!

Here’s the scenario – he loves to perform oral sex on you. And, he’s pretty gosh darn good at it too. But you’re starting to feel guilty about not wanting to return the favor. Maybe you have a gag reflex problem? Maybe the idea of sticking the thing he uses to pee out of in your mouth grosses you out? Maybe you’re afraid you’ll hurt him by biting or pulling on something wrong.

Fret no more! There are simple solutions to all these problems!

If you are worried about gagging: Remember, first off, we’re not all porn stars &  nobody expects you to act like one. You don’t have to take his whole cock in your mouth and down into your throat. His most sensitive part is around the head of his penis anyway, so it’s not necessary to be a deep-throater. You also should remember, your hands are your secret weapon. Not only do they provide additional stimulation (to his shaft & balls – don’t forget the balls!) but your hands also help control how much of his cock you take in his mouth. Tip: Keeping your hands right by your mouth as you pump away, he’ll think he’s getting deep throated!

If you’re worried about hurting him: There are plenty of products out there available that act as teeth guards. If you don’t like the idea of something else in your mouth, try going slower. Concentrate on keeping your mouth wide and listen to him. If cringes or says “ouch” stop what you’re doing. Slow down. Give him a quick hand job. Lick the shaft instead of sucking on it. Maybe even only concentrate at the tip where you don’t have to worry about your teeth so much.

If you’re worried about the grossness: Make him shower first! I’ve never met a man who wasn’t willing to do some work in order to get a blowjob. Tell him you’ll give him a blow job if he showers first. Then join him. Maybe you won’t have to suck him off at all!

Remember, the biggest turn on about a blowjob is that you want to do it. So, if you don’t like doing it and tell him you want to “practice” – I’m sure he’ll willingly be your test subject!

Looking for more tips and tricks? I got all of mine from this book (and watching porn!): Tickle His Pickle.

Tickle His Pickle

Tickle His Pickle

How to Use Ben Wa Balls

What are Ben Wa Balls?

Ben Wa Balls, also known as Burmese bells or Geisha balls are small, marble-sized metal balls, usually hollow and containing a small weight that rolls around-used for sexual stimulation by insertion into the vagina or anus. (source Wikipedia)

Basic Ben Wa Balls

Basic Ben Wa Balls

While it’s true that Ben Wa Balls can be used for sexual stimulation, they are also great tool in helping tone and exercise the PC, or pubococcygeus muscle, which is located in the pelvic floor. These exercises are also know as Kegel Excersises, named after Dr. Arnold Kegel, and anyone can perform them at any time. PC muscles are in both men and women, but the PC muscles are usually talked about in reference to women. Men, this doesn’t mean that you can’t strengthen your own muscles – simply try to stop the flow of urine the next time you are in the bathroom. These muscles are your PC muscles, and by flexing them on a regular basis you can improve their strength. By strengthening your PC muscles, men can control the flow of their urine and semen, and over time increase the firmness of their erection and power of their ejaculations.

Now, women, you might be curious as to why you should strengthen your PC muscles. For the younger woman your PC muscles are those muscles that clench really tight during orgasm. You might notice these if you masturbate using a dildo or vibrator, or your partner might have commented on the feeling it gives him tightening around his shaft. Tightening these muscles will increase the sexual pleasure for both of you. If you already have children, your PC muscles may be loosened or weak due to the process of natural childbirth. If you have ever look down at your vagina in a mirror, you might notice that it looks “flabby,” or that you have extra skin that you didn’t have before you had children. Strengthening your PC muscles can help reduce this excess outer skin. Also, as women age, PC muscles tend to deteriorate causing leakage or incontinence. If you start to work these muscles early in your adult life, you can prevent or delay many urinary symptoms later in life.

Please note, I am not a medical doctor, and this is not a treatment or cure-all for any sort of urinary incontinence or other vaginal disorder. If you are concerned about anything going on “down there” please consult a medical professional.

Glass Ben Wa Balls

Glass Ben Wa Balls

Ben Wa Balls come in various sizes, may be tied together with a string, made of different materials, and can have bells or extra weights contained within them. If you have never tried using Ben Wa Balls before, you should start with a small size connected by a string. The small size and string makes putting them in and getting them out much easier. No matter which kind you get you’ll want to insert them using a bit of lubricant. And remember to relax. The more relaxed you are inserting and removing the Ben Wa Balls the easier it will be. You’ll want to remember to leave the string hanging out, just like you would with a tampon. However, unlike a tampon, there are no time constraints on how long you can keep the Ben Wa Balls inside you. I have not read any scientific research suggesting that prolonged use of Ben Wa Balls will cause Toxic Shock Syndrome or any other disease. However, I do suggest removing them overnight to give your body time to relax.

Ben Wa Balls come in a variety of materials as well. Feel free to choose whichever one you prefer, whether it be glass, metal, plastic, or medical-grade silicone. The different textures of the Ben Wa Balls will affect the stimulation they have inside your vagina and at your g-spot. Some research suggests that Ben Wa Balls can move around within you, which is what causes the added sexual stimulation. However, there is alternate research that says once the balls are inserted, they will not move. I’ve noticed that once inserted they do not move, but if I continue to flex and release my PC muscles, the tissue will move and I get aroused due to the friction of that movement against the Ben Wa Balls. Finding the right size and material, and choosing a ball that has additional weight to it will cause different sensations. I encourage you to start small and simple, and as you get used to it (or can’t feel them anymore) move on up to the next size or different material.

Vibrating Ben Wa Balls

Vibrating Ben Wa Balls

An interesting thing to note about using Ben Wa Balls: once the balls are inside your vaginal canal, they are resting behind your bladder and g-spot. You may notice the sensation of the need to urinate, but find it difficult to do so. This is where added awareness of your internal system is helpful. As you continue to use the Ben Wa Balls you will be able to find the best way to relax in order to urinate, but not push out the Ben Wa Balls. The urine stream will not be as strong as it might have been prior to using the balls, but over time it will become more steady and more constant. The change in urination ability is effect of strengthening your PC muscles.

To remove the Ben Wa Balls, simply relax and pull on the string. They should slide right out, but you might have to tug harder to get around the width of the balls. It all depends on how much you can relax. I prefer to do this over the toilet, as I usually end up urinating a small amount, due to the added relaxation of my muscles at the time. Make sure to clean your Ben Wa Balls like you would any other sex toy and store them in a cool, dry place.

And that’s the basic idea of the why and how to use Ben Wa Balls. I hope it was useful!