Hidden messages of sex in pop music

Apparently it’s ‘The 80’s Power Hour’ over in the Buyers Department. For the last hour I’ve been listening to Milli Vanilli, Michael Jackson, and most recently Bonnie Tyler – “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” The worst part is that now everyone walks around singing…’And I need you more tonight. And I need you more than ever!” Which makes me think…is she talking about a partner or a vibrator?

Cause well, I’m not always guaranteed a good time when I’m with a partner. But I have yet to be unsatisfied from my vibrator. Well, now I’m a little more than intrigued and let’s see how much sex with a toy we can pull out of this song…

“(Turnaround) / Every now and then / I get a little bit lonely / and you’re never coming around”

This is the first line of the song folks. She’s lonely. She’s obviously waiting on someone to come over and s/he never shows. What does a woman do when her man can’t attend his performance? Pull out a vibrator. My favorite choice – the Wild G Spot. Quite nice. Multi-speed and rotating balls for all sorts of fun. See my whole review here about this rabbit vibrator.

“(Turnaround)  / Every now and then I get a little / bit restless and I dream of something wild”

Well, we all have fantasies don’t we? Who hasn’t thought about getting tied up or wanting to try anal sex for the first time? Now, I’m not saying Bonnie Tyler is a freak (but maybe the lyricist was) but what do you dream of when you want something wild? No, I really want to know. Submit ideas in the comments below please. I still get really excited when I think about sex in public places. Bathrooms, libraries, even cars in parking lots turn me on. I was on a date recently with a cop and kept thinking how hot it would be to get it on in the back of his cruiser.

“And I need you now tonight / And I need you more than ever / And if you’ll only hold me tight / We’ll be holding on forever / And we’ll only be making it right / Cause we’ll never be wrong together”

Okay, +1 for those of you rooting for this song to be about a man. I can’t say I’ve ever met a vibrator (or any other sex toy) that can hold me tight. In fact, that’s the one downer to sex toys that I can think. Otherwise, I could stay single forever.

“Once upon a time I was falling in love / But now I’m only falling apart / There’s nothing I can do / A total eclipse of the heart”

But here’s the piece de resistance! Boys suck. They’ll break your heart. But your vibrator is like a puppy. It’s always there for you and it only wants to make you happy.

So buy a vibrator today! Use it. Enjoy it. Get through the rest of this holiday season with the one that loves you over, and over, and over!