6 Funny Sex Toy Reviews

Deluxe Rotating Wallbangers Rabbit Vibrator

By Horney Ole Granny

This is my first vibe ever. Would recommend it to anyone thinking of getting one. Those ears,WOW. Most satisfaction I’ve had in years. Who needs the real thing when you have this. I just hope my kids find a little humor in finding it when they clean out my house when I am gone.

Jennas Double Play Vibrator

Jenna's Double Play Vibrator

Jenna’s Double Play

Vibration is an absolute joke. I could honestly get a better vibration from my cell phone. Am terribly dissapointed in this item and would return it if it were possible. Would not suggest this to anyone….ever!!! Find something else…anything else!!!

My Private O Vibrator

WHen I seen this item I knew I had to get. Then when it got here I was like, great this s*** is tiny, but when I used it I was like BOY this is large.

Squirt Showers 2

I put the dvd around bed time and went and watch TV in the family room.  I let my wife go to bed 1st… well, about 20 minutes later she attacked and it was awesome. She turn it back on when I was getting up for work… Needless to say, I was late for work…

Partner’s Pleasure Rings

Partners Pleasure Rings

Partners Pleasure Rings

This is a must have in your toy box.  Works great, very versatile.  Pleasurable for my wife and I.  A very quiet vibration….the kids will never know whats going on.

Wild G Spot Vibrator

This is the best little toy ever made! It is a must have for anyone who likes sex. It really hits the “SPOT”! Buy it, you will be soooooo glad you did!!!

Named it MAX…cause it really lives up to the name…lol 🙂

Lucid Dream 14 G Spot Vibrator

Tried this out once or twice didnt quite do the job via missionary masturbation…However I tried it from the rear (me in doggie style position) and OH BOY!!!!! I came like never before twice…and soaked my carpet!

Squirting Masturbator at Adam & Eve

Flower Tuccis Squirting Pussy

Flower Tucci's Squirting Pussy

Adam & Eve has just started carrying Flower Tucci’s Realistic Squirting Pussy. This sex toy looks amazing. I’ve never heard of a squirting masturbator, and I didn’t know Flower Tucci was a squirter! I saw her in Kayden’s Krossfire, but I just don’t remember her squirting in that. Hm, maybe I need to rewatch it.

Flower Tucci - Porn Star

Flower Tucci - Porn Star

Check out the Adam & Eve website for the full details on the product. I can’t get over how realistically awesome this masturbator looks. Make sure to click on the images to see them close up.

Flower Tuccis Squirting Pussy

Flower Tucci's Squirting Pussy

Flower Tucci Masturbator Squirt Juice

Flower Tucci Squirt Juice

Sex Position of the Week: Mouth Wash

Inspiration for this week’s sex position came from a 4 hour squirting porn.  Beware.

First, I would like to note that female ejaculation is a complete mystery to me.  I have all the lady parts but I have never experienced anything close to a forceful ejaculation of any liquid during orgasm. How does this work?  Where does the liquid come from?  What is it made of?  Scientific research is needed.

Ok, on to the sex position, which I have artfully detailed using MS Paint.

Squirting

Requirements:

Participant A:  Female who is relatively flexible and capable of ejaculating
Participant B:  Person with a phallus, real or strap-on

B penetrates A’s vagina in the pile driver position.  In order to assume the pile driver position, A gets on her hands and knees facing B.  She tucks her head and begins to roll forward like she is doing a somersault.  She stops when her genitals are pointing directly upwards and hold this position.  B Stands over A, pushes phallus so that it is pointing toward the ground, and inserts in into the vagina.  He repeats until A’s orgasm is imminent (this may require some manual clitoral stimulation as well).  Immediately before A orgasms, B withdraws the phallus and A ejects her squirt up and out, like a fountain.  If the appropriate angle is achieved, the squirt will rain down A’s face.  A should hold her mouth open and enjoy the refreshing drink.

I didn’t make this shit up people.  Ew.