Women Watching Porn: The 8th Day Pt 1

The 8th Day – A Review by Lilith and Allison pt 1

It’s always awkward to watch porn with a friend, especially your heterosexual coworker, but whatever, college frat boys can do it, so Lilith & I can do it too. 🙂 I’d noticed that there was a big lack of explanation about this movie, so I thought it’d be best to get someone to watch the thing and explain to you guys why, in fact, this is the most awesome Adam & Eve Pictures DVD this year. (Also, it’s gonna be available on Blu Ray in September, so watch out for that)

Anyway, this movie turned out to be a lot better than I had expectations for. There’s all kinds of kinky sex, hot sex, interracial sex, boring sex, group sex, and non-sex. There’s a really decent story line, believable and kept me intrigued. Over and over again, Lilith & I talked about the high quality of the feature and it’s actors. I almost want to say this was a spoof of the Sci-Fi genre entirely, but I don’t watch a lot of Sci-Fi stuff, except shows like Fringe and Eureka, so I might not be the best person to tell you that this is a good spoof. I’ll let Lilith explain that.

Now, I bring you, the conversation that Lilith and I had during the watching of The 8th Day:

L: What a fancy root menu.

A: I like how in movies people frozen in a cryogenic state come out looking beautiful. Shouldn’t her pubic hair be really long?

A: Perfect brain & muscle functioning too.

L: Kayden Kross has very nice fake boobs.

A: Nice, what’s the first thing you’d do after being in suspended animation for years…let’s do it!

A: Three men locked in a room to watch over her. I bet they were having gay orgies all these years.

L: In the future men wear plastic loincloths, that’s fantastic.

A: Kayden does have a really nice body.

L: Tommy Gunn stop playing with your meat so we can see it.

A: I think he’s uncut. Isn’t it?

A: Was that a real orgasm?

L: You think if she was faking it she’d make a more pleasant face.

A: I really like Tommy Gunn. He knows what he’s doing.

A: How do you think this would be if they all used condoms?

L: I’d be okay with it. I figure once everyone started using condoms we’d all get used to it.

L: I’m glad Kayden’s not overly fake. I hate it when the girls make “o” noises when they’re sucking some dude’s dick. You know they aren’t enjoying it that much.

A & L: Ew…what was that? Why is he vomiting from the mouth?

L: I think that would have been best left for after the sex scene.

A: I really want him to come.

L: Wrap it up B.

A: I think there should be some gay sex in this too. That’d be awesome.

L: Like Brave New World – everyone’s having sex with everyone.

L: I think I get what’s happening. She’s really having sex with some gross thing but we’re seeing her euphoric interpretation of that.

A: Ah, you’re good at this Sci-Fi thing.

A: Are they all dead?

L: Or they fought themselves into submission.

A: Why didn’t they give her pants to wear in the future?

A: Oh, no, we’re watching her pee. Was that necessary?

L: I don’t know why that was essential to the storyline.

A: I don’t know why she had to wipe with her hand. Drip dry!

L: Ooh, look at the CG grass and the skeleton.

A: Well, I figured the skeleton wasn’t real, but the grass looks pretty good.

A: This looks like a Myst scene.

L: I think those S&M people are gonna have sex and Kayden’s gonna watch.

A: She’s a Mistress? What Mistress goes down on her slave boy first?

L: No, slave boy does the work first. If he does it well, he gets rewarded.

A: I think the movie is better generally without the sex. Then again, I’m not really paying attention, are you?

L: No.

L:  The kinky people have been doing this forever, and where’s the Asian slave girl?

A: She’s like that third guy in the icky alien scene from earlier.

A: I think the dick bounce is the most amazing thing guys can do. Gives me penis envy.

A: I’m getting a little nervous with all of the noises. Run away, Kayden, run away!

L: That’s an efficient way to tell time.

A: Tyler Knight looks good with a mohawk

L: I like dreads on guys.

A: Oh look, it’s the “o” noises.

L: Most porn star sex is like “you’re paying me money so I’m gonna stick my penis in here” but occasionally you see it when the actors really are into what they’re doing. That’s always hot.

A: Pick an end Tyler, pick an end.

L: I think we’re about to see the lesbian three way in the desert.

A: I count two.

L: No it’s with Bree Olson and the Cat Chicks.

A: Oh, the backbend scene from the cover of the DVD?

L: Yeah.

A: What’s with the cat noises?

L: Why are they wearing shoes?

A: I told you people are naked in the future except for shoes.

A: Oh OH – Look! Two mouths, one pussy.

L: Lesbian porn bores the shit out of me. Most of it is two girls, one gets off and switch. And some of them don’t even fake it well.

A: Bree’ll get off. She always gets off.

A: I don’t even know who these girls are.

L: That’s Tori Black, but I don’t know the upside down girl is.

A: Are we supposed to believe the body paint is body paint or if it’s embedded into their skin?

L: I don’t know. But Kayden’s liking it.

L: This is what they’d say if they were speaking English….”My vagina!”

A: Or – “Get off that, I wanna suck the pussy!”

L: Here’s the wood dildo. I wish we carried these on the site.

A: I think they were going to, but they were worried our customers would fear the splinters.

L: I can’t believe it’s been 2 hours already.

A: Really?

A: Aww, we gotta change discs?


The 8th Day XXX DVD

The 8th Day XXX DVD

Don’t worry! Lilith will be posting part 2 of our review shortly.

Do Women Prefer Money to Sex?

According to a survey done by America Online in New York,  they asked 3,500 women “Would you rather have $50 a week or more sex every week?” and an overwhelming number of respondents chose the money.

Initial problem with this survey – they asked women. I’d be very curious to see the men’s reaction to the question. Not only whether the majority of men would rather have $50 or sex, but more interestingly, how long does it take them to get to that answer?

But back to the survey they did; with the number of sex toys available and made specifically for women, I can’t deny that I’d probably choose the $50 a week. Unless they told me I couldn’t even have sex with myself, in which case, I’d choose the sex. But how would the survey team know if I was having sex by myself? Hm…

However, most journalists are going to tell you this is to blame on the economy, which is probably more true than the sex toy hypothesis. $50 a week can feed me. $50 a week can buy me gas to get to work. $50 a week can buy a lot of sex toys.

What would you buy with an extra $50 a week?

Pirates Adult DVD

Pirates Adult DVD

7 Secrets for Bedroom Bliss

I stumbled on this website today after talking with a coworker. While there’s the occasional product-hocking going on, there’s a lot of useful information in the PDF  document. I mean, I can’t imagine not having orgasms or regular sex, so if you are someone who can’t get off…please read this report on female problems when it comes to sex.

And no, I’m not trying to push/sell anything, I really just found the article interesting.

Here are some lesser-known facts you’ll read about:

1. Menopause is no excuse for not wanting to have sex.

2. Smells can turn you on. What’s the most erotic smell? Here’s a hint: They differ for each gender.

3. Women are, in fact, turned on by sexual images.

4. A whole section of “How to Love Your Body.” It turns me on to read the instructions!

5. Subliminal messaging works.

6. Bonding is a right-brain activity.

7. Use all the senses when getting aroused – including sound!

FYI – there’s a website for men too – Bedroom Blues – and it’s got a lot of interesting info about ED & premature ejaculation and natural ways to cope with both.

Relationship Spam

I get a lot of random emails, one I’m sad to say I know is spam but I still open to read is a “How To Relationships” guide of sorts. I really should stop reading it, but sometimes it’s worth a laugh. Most times, however, it just makes me a little depressed.

This week’s email is “The Two Step Recipe for Disaster…and How To Avoid It!” It falls somewhere between ‘oh right, my life is miserable and lonely’ and ‘this has never really happened to me before.’ Are there women out there that will really “steal” a man’s life from him? And really, can a woman steal someone’s life? Aren’t relationships two way streets?

Well, here’s the article for your amusement. I do not endorse or say that this article has any merit, it’s simply for shits and giggles. (Everything in italics is me & my smart ass responding.)

We’ve all been there, right? Just when you thought you’ve sealed the deal and you’re off to ecstatic bliss, something you did comes back to slap you in the face.

If he was warming up to you before, his well of affection has suddenly run dry. Inexplicably, he’s avoiding your calls and the ever-growing pile of messages you’ve left on his machine have gone unanswered. Maybe he’s just a douchebag. I’ve heard that a lot recently, “He’s Just Not That Into Me.”

Before you know it, he’s gone from “head over heels” to “avoiding-you-like-the-plague.” So why, you ask yourself, has this sad state of affairs fallen upon your pitiful self? Who are you calling pitiful, Spamalot?

Well, ALL of us have had to deal with setbacks in dating…yeah, countless number of assholes pop into my mind.

You win some, you lose some – that’s how it is. BUT could YOU be unwittingly committing behaviors that are causing your once smooth-sailing love boat to capsize? Oh no! Am I?

You might not know it, but you might be inadvertently undermining your chances of finding Mr. Right. Shit, I knew it had to be me.

Who knows, your relationship habits may be wrecking havoc on your sassy image. Ha! Little do you know I put the “ass” in “sass”

Is it possible that YOU are the problem behind all your dating woes? Ooh, scare tactic. Good marketing job.

What we have today are a couple of habits that drive men away. The good thing is that foresight is the best way to keep being the dream girl he wants…instead of the proverbial monster under his bed.

1. The Hostile Takeover

Here’s a simple fact: no matter what they’ll tell you, ALL men value their independence.

If you’ve ever been dragged to see guy flicks like “Braveheart” or the more recent “300”, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Before seeing these movies, I never knew that the combination of a staggering physique and a sweaty, unwashed look could be so fun to watch.

Other than that however, I learned another important thing about guys in general. They don’t like their freedom being trampled on. Well, I don’t like mine being trampled on either. I hope you wrote that to your male readers. And aren’t there guys out there that LIKE to be in relationships? I mean, people are in relationships everyday, where the hell did those guys come from if all guys hate losing their freedom.

Any war has taught us that invasion will always spark a resistance of some sort. Anyone trying to forcefully push themselves into uninvited territory will have to pay their rent in blood. But sometimes guys need a little push to figure things out, right?

I’m not trying to be morbid here, but think about it for a second. Your guy wants to be the captain of his ship, and he’ll never stand for mutiny. (No matter how drop-dead gorgeous the mutineer is!) Yeah, you should see me in my pirate costume. Maybe he’d surrender to that!

He might like it at first, but he’ll wake up to the living hell his life has slowly become after he comes down from the lovey-dovey high. Well, I have other costumes.

Any of my guy friends will tell you that they appreciate a girl who doesn’t take over their lives from under their noses. Some of them have been badly burned by previous experiences where their once-sweet girl turned out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

(…and by “wolf”, I mean “needy psycho who’s pathologically compelled to keep her man behind bars”!)

Don’t start inspiring rebellion in him by doing the following:

– Demanding him to let you know where he is at all times Really? I thought that just meant I was concerned and sweet and thoughtful.

– Requiring him to account for (and justify) EVERY second that he’s not with you Lord, I wouldn’t do that just because I can’t remember where I am every second of the day.

– Issuing a cruel and unjust punishment by eternally dooming him to be your shopping companion (REALLY – one more “do these pair of Manolo Blahniks look good on me?”, and he’ll be tearing his ears out. Trust me – they ALL look the same to him!) Why would I want him to join me when I shop? Oh, right. Making out in dressing rooms is fun.

– Hovering over him like the Wicked Witch of the East at a party, on the lookout for any female presence in the vicinity See…now I kinda get turned on when my man is flirted with by another human being. As long as I know he’s coming home to me, that’s all. It just proves that, yeah, I got one of the good ones, so you can just bite me.

– Assuming that he’ll like and do EVERYTHING you do, including your three-hour advanced yoga sessions just because you’ve been going out for a few weeks Wasn’t it Paula Abdul who told us “Opposites Attract”?

– Rushing him to meet ALL of your friends and parading him around like a resentful trophy/prize But he is my prize/trophy. My prize for waiting this fucking long to find him! (And vice versa obviously)

– Pestering him to put on a jacket before heading out, eating something before going to work, or bugging him to clean his overstuffed glove compartment C’mon, the first two are just sincere gestures, unless I guess, you are actually pestering. What’s a man got if he doesn’t have his health?!

The point here is NOT to make him feel like you’re taking up all of his space TOO FAST and TOO SOON. Don’t come barging into his life at the first sign of interest.

Men are turned off by girls who pursue a guy too much. They like someone who can be feisty AND can also play it cool and go with the flow.

This especially holds true at the beginning of a budding relationship. If you’ve only had a handful dates with him, don’t scare off the poor guy with your intensity. Um, I’m intense. I just am. I’m blunt and loud too. I think you should just know that upfront. Otherwise we’re stuck in a relationship based on what I think you want me to be like. And that just seems to be bad for me.

Avoid looking like an invading army, poised to seize the last vestiges of his freedom. Instead, try being like the Trojan Horse, but without the nasty surprise. Reel him in slowly and get him to drop his guard – he’ll be hooked before he knows it. So being crouched by the bar in my camo outfit isn’t a good look?

If you’re not careful, he’ll start cooking up a prison break behind your back and dig his way to freedom right under your nose.

2. Addiction to Approval

The constant need to be praised, worshiped and adored is not only going to bore the socks off of him, it will also be a very fertile breeding ground for resentment. Men prefer independence in the full sense of the word.

Sure, you can be the ball-busting, go-getting career woman who doesn’t take crap from anyone; he’ll respect you for that. Just don’t tarnish that perception by being the opposite when it comes to relationships.

You know who I am talking about – that needy, clingy woman who can’t stand not being reassured of her beauty and grace. I think I’m the worst example of this. I am a ball buster, go getter, loudmouth, occasional bitch at work. But I never expect to be called out for my beauty or grace (do I even have that?!) at home. So when I do get called out for it, I get blushy and horny. Which leads to making out and/or sex. Which would probably lead to more compliments, but I think in the end it’s a fair trade off.

Here’s a heads-up: your new guy isn’t your personal magic mirror on the wall. Too many questions of “who’s the fairest of them all” will nibble away at his sanity.

Don’t expect him to hand out compliments at the exact moment you expect it. Allow him to praise your qualities whenever he REALLY FEELS like doing so.

Hearing “does this make me look fat” for the Nth time will  translate into, “Yes, I’m insecure and need constant coddling 24/7 because I can’t find it in myself to be happy with who I am.” This highly un-sexy attitude speaks volumes about what kind of partner you’ll be in the long run. I prefer to say “Do you like how I look?” cause really, who else am I getting dressed up for?

Giving your guy the wrong impression will inevitably make him envision a future of being a round-the-clock emotional babysitter. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?

Seriously though, sometimes it’s a lot more attractive to have no care at all to what other people think. Men enjoy the company of a woman who never sees herself as inferior to other women and regards guys as an EQUAL.

There’s nothing sexier than being able to hold your own, without having to look for anyone (especially HIM) for validation. He wants to keep things light and FUN, so being needy sucks the joy out of being together. Alright, so this whole message was about self-confidence? Geez.

Guys might like it when you occasionally need him to be the bare-chested, manly man who you can hide behind during a scary movie, or hook up your stereo system because the instruction manual’s so “confusing”. mm…all of those sound nice. Can I get one of those to go?

In the big picture though, your man wants a healthy, flourishing relationship that thrives on MUTUAL respect for each other’s independence. He wants someone who can rely on her own devices to pursue ALL the aspects of her life…AND is cool enough to let him do the things he wants. It’s all about communication.

Here comes the ad.

And that’s exactly the philosophy that we teach in Meet Your Sweet’s Conversation Chemistry, which is a goldmine of conversation instruction!

Nothing pleases him more than being able to have individual experiences AND share them with his girl during their “we time” afterwards. Growing separately as two mature adults AND as a couple (or couple-to-be if you do things right) will keep him coming back.

If you want to sign up for your own spam relationship mail, click here.

If you just want to keep yourself happy without a man, click here.

How to Use Ben Wa Balls

What are Ben Wa Balls?

Ben Wa Balls, also known as Burmese bells or Geisha balls are small, marble-sized metal balls, usually hollow and containing a small weight that rolls around-used for sexual stimulation by insertion into the vagina or anus. (source Wikipedia)

Basic Ben Wa Balls

Basic Ben Wa Balls

While it’s true that Ben Wa Balls can be used for sexual stimulation, they are also great tool in helping tone and exercise the PC, or pubococcygeus muscle, which is located in the pelvic floor. These exercises are also know as Kegel Excersises, named after Dr. Arnold Kegel, and anyone can perform them at any time. PC muscles are in both men and women, but the PC muscles are usually talked about in reference to women. Men, this doesn’t mean that you can’t strengthen your own muscles – simply try to stop the flow of urine the next time you are in the bathroom. These muscles are your PC muscles, and by flexing them on a regular basis you can improve their strength. By strengthening your PC muscles, men can control the flow of their urine and semen, and over time increase the firmness of their erection and power of their ejaculations.

Now, women, you might be curious as to why you should strengthen your PC muscles. For the younger woman your PC muscles are those muscles that clench really tight during orgasm. You might notice these if you masturbate using a dildo or vibrator, or your partner might have commented on the feeling it gives him tightening around his shaft. Tightening these muscles will increase the sexual pleasure for both of you. If you already have children, your PC muscles may be loosened or weak due to the process of natural childbirth. If you have ever look down at your vagina in a mirror, you might notice that it looks “flabby,” or that you have extra skin that you didn’t have before you had children. Strengthening your PC muscles can help reduce this excess outer skin. Also, as women age, PC muscles tend to deteriorate causing leakage or incontinence. If you start to work these muscles early in your adult life, you can prevent or delay many urinary symptoms later in life.

Please note, I am not a medical doctor, and this is not a treatment or cure-all for any sort of urinary incontinence or other vaginal disorder. If you are concerned about anything going on “down there” please consult a medical professional.

Glass Ben Wa Balls

Glass Ben Wa Balls

Ben Wa Balls come in various sizes, may be tied together with a string, made of different materials, and can have bells or extra weights contained within them. If you have never tried using Ben Wa Balls before, you should start with a small size connected by a string. The small size and string makes putting them in and getting them out much easier. No matter which kind you get you’ll want to insert them using a bit of lubricant. And remember to relax. The more relaxed you are inserting and removing the Ben Wa Balls the easier it will be. You’ll want to remember to leave the string hanging out, just like you would with a tampon. However, unlike a tampon, there are no time constraints on how long you can keep the Ben Wa Balls inside you. I have not read any scientific research suggesting that prolonged use of Ben Wa Balls will cause Toxic Shock Syndrome or any other disease. However, I do suggest removing them overnight to give your body time to relax.

Ben Wa Balls come in a variety of materials as well. Feel free to choose whichever one you prefer, whether it be glass, metal, plastic, or medical-grade silicone. The different textures of the Ben Wa Balls will affect the stimulation they have inside your vagina and at your g-spot. Some research suggests that Ben Wa Balls can move around within you, which is what causes the added sexual stimulation. However, there is alternate research that says once the balls are inserted, they will not move. I’ve noticed that once inserted they do not move, but if I continue to flex and release my PC muscles, the tissue will move and I get aroused due to the friction of that movement against the Ben Wa Balls. Finding the right size and material, and choosing a ball that has additional weight to it will cause different sensations. I encourage you to start small and simple, and as you get used to it (or can’t feel them anymore) move on up to the next size or different material.

Vibrating Ben Wa Balls

Vibrating Ben Wa Balls

An interesting thing to note about using Ben Wa Balls: once the balls are inside your vaginal canal, they are resting behind your bladder and g-spot. You may notice the sensation of the need to urinate, but find it difficult to do so. This is where added awareness of your internal system is helpful. As you continue to use the Ben Wa Balls you will be able to find the best way to relax in order to urinate, but not push out the Ben Wa Balls. The urine stream will not be as strong as it might have been prior to using the balls, but over time it will become more steady and more constant. The change in urination ability is effect of strengthening your PC muscles.

To remove the Ben Wa Balls, simply relax and pull on the string. They should slide right out, but you might have to tug harder to get around the width of the balls. It all depends on how much you can relax. I prefer to do this over the toilet, as I usually end up urinating a small amount, due to the added relaxation of my muscles at the time. Make sure to clean your Ben Wa Balls like you would any other sex toy and store them in a cool, dry place.

And that’s the basic idea of the why and how to use Ben Wa Balls. I hope it was useful!

Roe v. Wade is Still Intact, right?

Are you aware today is the anniversary of the decision about Roe v. Wade? Do you know what your current rights are concerning abortion? I didn’t know, but I read that today is National Blog for ProChoice Day, sponsored by NARAL, and I thought that it was a good time for me to learn what the last president did and what I want this president to do.

After doing a simple search on Google for “abortion rights US citizen” I saw that the top hits are Yahoo and Christian Organizations that are all anti-abortion. Maybe I was a bit too specific, let’s just try “abortion.” Well that’s a little better, at least PlannedParenthood.org made it to the first page of results.

So using WebMd I’ve learned that the former president has banned all Partial Birth Abortions (2003) and banned any stem-cell testing on the fetuses (2002). Then I came to the website that gave me the best list of facts concerning W.’s stance on Women’s Reproductive Rights. To view that site click here.

Here are my hopes for our new President and our new Government:

My biggest hope now that W. Bush is out of the office, that women’s reproductive rights are at least maintained.

I hope that the United States will not ban abortion, thus forcing women to go overseas or out of the country to get a second-rate procedure, and come back home only to have additional medical bills to pay for a botched job.

I want there to be hope for that girl in the middle of nowhere who was sexually abused or assaulted by a family member and is now pregnant, to get help. I hope that her, and every other woman who chooses it, is able to get an abortion.

I hope that our country finally understands that because abortion is an option, doesn’t mean that it will always happen.

I hope that we learn that what’s right for one person, isn’t necessarily right for another.

I hope that our new President chooses an educated, non-partisan person to head of the Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee for the FDA.

I hope that our new President encourages not only Abstinence Education in our public schools, but also initiates a Safe Sex Education course in public schools.

And I hope he makes sure that condoms are available in Nurse’s offices across the nation.

I hope that any new appointed Justices are educated enough to be open and fair-minded when it comes to cases about women’s reproductive rights.

I hope that country realizes that abortions can eventually benefit Stem Cell Research that can cure a plethora of diseases.

I hope that overall, we are not giving lies or intimidating any woman who is looking for help.

Get a FREE Baby!

I have a friend that has decided she wants to have a baby. She’s in her mid-30s, she lives in Denmark, and she’s gay. This severely limits her options, but being head strong (and cock sure) she’s decided to try to get artificially inseminated.

I immediately told her I’d fly over there to help her pick out the best semen possible for her baby.

Well, apparently in Denmark it’s not like it is here. You don’t get to browse the books that have the details of the sperm donor.  (Well, I’ve never been through it first-hand, but I saw ‘Made in America’) This is what she told me:

So I have a “closed donor” which means that I give the nurse specifications: height, weight, hair-colour, and eye-colour and she chooses one that fits that description. Naturally I’ve chosen specifications that fit mine, so my kids will look as much like me as possible. There’s also a great feature to this: I can reserve “little friends” (as I call them) from the same donor, so my kids will be 100% siblings.
All of this I get for free, except for the little friends which cost about €240 per try and hormone treatment which is quite cheap.

The other option is an “open donor” she says, which is through a Private Clinic and that costs money. But in return for paying she gets the ability to know who the father is and a genetic history (I presume). I wonder if they get a better class of donors there because they can afford to pay them more?

Why can’t we do that here in America? I guess that’s asking for a lot though. If I can’t get tampons covered on my medical insurance, I suppose we can’t be having babies on it (or getting rid of babies on it…) either, can we?